Dream on

So,t he first set pf psycho troomamtes jsut contacted mer. apparently some of my mail has been going there and they were being all snotty about "if you won;t give us a forwarding address we willd estroy it£"

Including a parcel, apparently./;

now, I was being evil - hgacve thenm the new address, but I was also evil - "We can also meet up so there's no extra cost for you" - you remember the deposit debacle. Of course, i might regret that once I stop being sicjkeningly high on mania - tbh, scared is already happening. but I won't be meeting them without backup... *shakes head*

i did in fact see the fuckers ont he bus on saturday, jsut like i had been fearing for a good while. it was oen of the reasons I was very shaken on friday and ended up being a complete mess byt he end of the night. which carried over to saturday and loed to Idiocy of the Highest order. (srsly - i' haven;t done anyonething that stupid while I have been in Dublin.

but yeah. need to deal with this. *sigh* But, I will manage dammit. Somehow. (having a Zoi along will help, if she can make it, for that means I can rest assured ath t if the bastard lays a hand on me? He will regret it. Nto my word against his, for one.)

... Sometimes, I wish life was less complicated.

still angsty. it fucking sucks.

i hate this kind of angst. i hate it. i hate feeling like.. lik there is no hope for me. that to have what i want, i would have to stop being msyelf. taht ia m not good enough/.

why can;t i ever meet a nice guy who woul actaully want to date me? I hate this. i jsut so fucking hate it.

eta: go listen to Another day on Tempest's Myspace, dear god I love it. seriously.

I#m still alive. barely. afdter work yesterday i crawled home and.. yueah. i got up at 5 am after going to bed at 5 pm. wwhat does that tell you? one damn tired Ara. (who is probably gpoing to be up late tonigfht, i can so tell.... incidentally, if someone wabnts to go out and do something I am prolly game. need to stop thinking about the fucking roommates) the roommates have also made trhings evil again. gfrom now on? I am locking my room when I leave. not because they would nick anything - n0o, because, as the lovely little passive-aggressive note says, they have the right to "inspect" my room *shudder*

You know, i was going tyo ask him thgat iuf he'd be as nice as lewt me pay my rent a bit latte cause our pay is being fucked up by lack of pps and so forth and i am not even making my rent this month - but nopee. witht he stuff from this note, looks like that would result in a "strike" and 3 strieks = out without sddeposit. and i am pretty sure we already have at least one strike down the line.

... i am gfonna die because there is nhow ay I can find a new pplace before the 28th. so, I wiloa lso have to ask dad for money *sighsighsigh* Wish I had been able to find somewhere to stay before now but.. no suchj luck. God, if only i could sort this living situation out.. then, everything wpould be going as close as perfect as tgthings ever have for me. *sigh*

I am living with a bully and a simpering idiot.

... when did I become 15 again?

*sigh* work is not going to be fun today. so ok, for once I have slept, woohoo. but - i am also one massively mentally exxhausted Ara, who also will have to take her first calls today. beluieve me, i am half-tempted to cfall the efffing planning desk and not go.. but have to, need the money bad. So,m in I go. take my first calls, i will. (one of the othrers already did yesterday but she has ayear of exp from another call center)

so yeah, n also not have read the flist. tell me about anyuthing grtand I am mising? also9, please for the love of all things good and sjhiny, cheer me up?