if I were skinny, I wouldnpot be the one who always gets passed over.
Guess what, I was the skinny one. I was the one who was 19 years old, 6 feet tall and weighed just over 8 stone. I had hips and collarbones that stuck out like coathangers and I hated the way I looked. My tutor in college spent two years asking my friends if they ever saw me eat because she was convinced I was anorexic.
All my friends had cleavages and boyfriends, and I was flat-chested and alone. I was convinced that if only I had a bust, someone would want me. Eventually I decided it wasn't going to change, I had good friends who I loved, and I was okay with being alone.
Slowly I started to believe it. As I did, I became more confident and found it easier to talk to people without worrying about what they thought of how I looked. And lo and behold, people started to take an interest in me.
Nothing is more of a turn-on than confidence. Nothing is more off-putting than shyness and self-loathing. People can smell it a mile off, and they run from it. It's nothing to do with how you look, and everything to do with how you feel about yourself. I have overweight friends who are flirty and have loving SOs and are considered sexy by lots of people who meet them.
I met my current SO when I was almost 24, and before that, I'd had one 'boyfriend' (as opposed to a few one night pick-ups, which were fun, not sordid) and he lasted two weeks. I never dated anyone at all before I was 20.
You're not alone in your dilemma. You're not the only person who ever despaired of being wanted. You're not the only one who never dated when all their friends went from boyfriend to boyfriend.
You are the only one who can fix it. Not necessarily by dieting, but if dieting makes you feel better about yourself so that the confidence comes with it, that will work. But if you want someone else to find you interesting and sexy and fun, you have to convince yourself that you are all those things first.
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Re: prettiness
Date: 2006-04-05 05:23 am (UTC)Guess what, I was the skinny one. I was the one who was 19 years old, 6 feet tall and weighed just over 8 stone. I had hips and collarbones that stuck out like coathangers and I hated the way I looked. My tutor in college spent two years asking my friends if they ever saw me eat because she was convinced I was anorexic.
All my friends had cleavages and boyfriends, and I was flat-chested and alone. I was convinced that if only I had a bust, someone would want me. Eventually I decided it wasn't going to change, I had good friends who I loved, and I was okay with being alone.
Slowly I started to believe it. As I did, I became more confident and found it easier to talk to people without worrying about what they thought of how I looked. And lo and behold, people started to take an interest in me.
Nothing is more of a turn-on than confidence. Nothing is more off-putting than shyness and self-loathing. People can smell it a mile off, and they run from it. It's nothing to do with how you look, and everything to do with how you feel about yourself. I have overweight friends who are flirty and have loving SOs and are considered sexy by lots of people who meet them.
I met my current SO when I was almost 24, and before that, I'd had one 'boyfriend' (as opposed to a few one night pick-ups, which were fun, not sordid) and he lasted two weeks. I never dated anyone at all before I was 20.
You're not alone in your dilemma. You're not the only person who ever despaired of being wanted. You're not the only one who never dated when all their friends went from boyfriend to boyfriend.
You are the only one who can fix it. Not necessarily by dieting, but if dieting makes you feel better about yourself so that the confidence comes with it, that will work. But if you want someone else to find you interesting and sexy and fun, you have to convince yourself that you are all those things first.