Fuck..

[arabwel]

having a massive cryinbg fit. Firrst one in ges and itps hard. Feeling öliker sa completye useless fuckup of a monster that no one will ever love. Wish I could just die.

want to stop hurting like this. I wish I werew ptretyty.. then I wouldnopt hurt like this.

Comments

Re: useless

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

GO out to where and enjoy what life? there´¨ snothing worth doing within, oh, 70 miles or so. and I mean that - this town is absolutyely barren. nothing worth doing.

middle of no where

[wight1984.livejournal.com]

That is pretty harsh to deal with, but if it's impossible to move then there are plenty of things that can be enjoyed without the city life.

I spend most of my time alone anyway myself.

Also, if the place is that barren, you may want to cut yourself some slack about dating. I doubt I'd ever have got much in the way of dates if I didn't live in a city.

Re: middle of no where

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Perfectly impossible; not enough money to get a place elsewhere, and the only person who would put up with me is Domina and she can't.

there isnpt anything here that I would weant to do: Everyuthing brings up painful memories of when i was growing up, and.. well, lets just say that I hate even stepping out of the door.

adn it has alwatys been like this - in the city, when i travel.. everywheere. Even online. No one Ever wants me.-

Re: middle of no where

[wight1984.livejournal.com]

By the sounds of it you can't have spent that long in the city or travelling really to be able to say that.

Re: middle of no where

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

I spent 4 years in the city. well, mostly in institutions, but i I was able to go to a normal school and have... a biut of a vague resmblance of a social life.

Re: middle of no where

[wight1984.livejournal.com]

school doesn't count. I never had any romances during school.

Re: middle of no where

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

Suppose so. But as it is, i fucked up way bad with, oh, everything else int he city, too.

Re: middle of no where

[wight1984.livejournal.com]

well, time to leave that in the past.

I certainly don't hassle myself about how life was and what I was like whilst I was at school

Re: middle of no where

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

I pretty mcujh dropped out and am one of those losers who never fgot any sort of a secondary education. makes me even more useless in general.

education

[wight1984.livejournal.com]

If you're concerned about education then you can always address that.

Meanwhile my father dropped out of school and I do NOT consider him a loser or useless.

Re: education

[arabwel.livejournal.com]

ipve tried. Nothing works - ipåm totally useless when it comes to actually attending classes, I wish i could just walk in and take the exams - I know I could probably get a better-than-average result if that weere possibnle.