I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help Ara here, but there's this little problem.. You kinda over-rationalize everything, but really, rational thinking can rarely solve an emotional problem. Yes, it would certainly make sense to stop being depressed (or whatever). But that's not the way it works.
So the real problem is.. when you are telling Ara that her problems are just a matter of choosing to think the wrong thoughts, you are actually just putting a bigger burden on her shoulders. Now, in addition to being miserable, she's also guilty of not stopping being miserable. Validation of feelings is the key, not belittlement!
Perhaps you are able to think yourself out of a depressed mood. It might not work for others. Again, I'm sorry, I know you're trying to give good advice. But perhaps, if your way is not the way for Ara to heal.. you should give her a little more room to feel whatever she's feeling, without her having to defend her position with arguments? After all.. the more Ara makes arguments for her case, the more reasons she will find to actually stick to her case.
But this isn't a matter of who's right and who's got the superior reasoning, here. I think we could use a little bit more understanding and support, in the sense of accepting that others may in fact be depressed and there's not necessarily a way to talk them out of it. So what one can do is to be there, non-judgementally.
Re: inside and out
So the real problem is.. when you are telling Ara that her problems are just a matter of choosing to think the wrong thoughts, you are actually just putting a bigger burden on her shoulders. Now, in addition to being miserable, she's also guilty of not stopping being miserable. Validation of feelings is the key, not belittlement!
Perhaps you are able to think yourself out of a depressed mood. It might not work for others. Again, I'm sorry, I know you're trying to give good advice. But perhaps, if your way is not the way for Ara to heal.. you should give her a little more room to feel whatever she's feeling, without her having to defend her position with arguments? After all.. the more Ara makes arguments for her case, the more reasons she will find to actually stick to her case.
But this isn't a matter of who's right and who's got the superior reasoning, here. I think we could use a little bit more understanding and support, in the sense of accepting that others may in fact be depressed and there's not necessarily a way to talk them out of it. So what one can do is to be there, non-judgementally.