Sep. 20th, 2006 12:54 pm
arabwel: (Default)
the thing I was dreading? took 20 minutes an was the most pleasant of its kind ever. THey even offered me coffee 0_o

Got just about everythign done - only need to drop off some papers and pick up a ton of meds tomorrow, so I a happy. Nothing is going wrong, wheeness. much, much wheeness at that.

laterI will be cooking another dinner today. I have pictures of tyesterday's delicacy.. which, incidentlaly, needs repeating, therefore recipe shall follo:

The sauce:
50 g of bacon, in bits
1 small onion, thinly sliced
1 small red bell pepper. chopped
300 g of lean ground beef
5 cloves of garlc, crushed
processed cheese

Stick the bacon ont eh pan and let it get brown; then toss in butter and the ground beef. don't let the ground beef go brown - this is important. just grayish-cooked. then, add flour and make a.. rou? I think. them, add coldwater cad cream. let it thicken, then add some processed cheese and ketchup, to taste

THis, I stuffed into cannelonni and laid said cannelloni on top and covered with said sauce in a pan - however, the pan was large so I added a ton of cherry tomatoes ont he sides and top, doused everything with cream, and then covered with nuggets of processed cheese.

THis was KILLER good :D

But yeah,today is a pretty good day :)


Sep. 15th, 2006 05:48 pm
arabwel: (Fall apart)
So ok, have the bus tickets. thanks, [livejournal.com profile] social_pressure!

second off.. i still donöt know what to wear to the WASP gig. Any and all suggestions welcome :P

tyhird off.. oh gofd next week is going to kill me. things I HAVE to do include getting a Hepatitis shot, getting my rent support sorted out, getting my disability re-approved, getting the social dservices to do stuff (tm) and on Wednesday.. fuck, I am dreading wednesday like hell.

I will be meeting a bucnh od pople. a doc, my therapist, people from the sociual services, people from KELA (they are ht eones who pay my disability), people from the local umnemplyument office.... ohh gofd it is going to KILL me. *shudders* it will make everything so horrible they are going to crush me, force me to do sowemthing and i donöt wnanna g o ther.e. id onöt wnat to talk to those people... I want to be left alone. it's bringing back a rton of trauma from my past, so many scenes like that where it wa just ne agaisnt everyine, even people i thought I could trust...

oh god I need huigs. and a shoulder to cry on. and a LOT of hugs.

I hate this.
arabwel: (Default)
Ara's karma has nessec9itated that osme thingas not be paid until alter this week. *grimace* or more like, "When mommy borrows me the money I need".

But - I HAVE MY PLANE TICKET! *dances in glee*

I will be arriving in Heathrow around 1 pm on Saturday 23rd. And, I have to make my way to Brighton somehow - I will know better closer to the actual date.

In other news, i am goign to Oulu tomorrow. Pity karma struck and I got lucky - One of my aunt's sorta-friends is going and I badgered a ride. THis means, picking up a nice shiny jacket which will probably replace my leather jacket for the trip - layers will be my friends.

Other thant hat, missed therapy. Oops. Not that I want anything to do with the damm woman. I probably would have only babbled about my triuip and not my issues.


Yeah,.s tillf eeling vaguely miserable Which sucks.


Aug. 24th, 2006 02:33 pm
arabwel: (Donald Duck)
So, recap of today. I habve a sinus infection, a sore tooth, pink eye, possibly angina or whatever that is in English, and on top of that, they cut off my phone due to unpaid bills.


and that's not all. the fucking doc I saw today about keeping the money sflowing? Dear God she made me want to scream. she actually ahd the gall to suggest Id'd go to the effing ward. I felt more cornered and fucking ready to bolt or tear something apart than I have in ages - dear God but I wnated to scream. their ethical duty to see me get better and not be sent to early retirement - yeah rigght. 'shudders*

she was not pleased to heart hat i am off to Briutland, but I am secure for another six months. ther eis going to be a meeting, to which I was cordially invited *snort, involving a lot of people.. the people who give me my disability, the social services,t he nice people who pay the jobless, the doc at the health center... that sort of a thing. I am SO not looking forward to it.

the gist of it? they are forcing me to try to "get better" aka go to school or somesuch. can we say no. fucking. way!

amusingly enough, the one thing she kept harping on about is my sleep schedule - which is, as I like to say, perfectly n9ormal for someone whose "Job" is writing, with people who live on another continent. Bleh.

I am going to write morre pr0n now, I think. And still hoping for someone to give the Lordi/Awa/Dima thing a look about if it works or not before I post.


Jun. 8th, 2006 01:12 pm
arabwel: (Dima5. Dima-clawed)
I have Jenova home and a new keyboard. now I should just get arounfd to, yo u know, doing the thing where I pulg her ina nd so on.. but I am too lazy to. maybe on Saturday.... o something.

Also, have sleep meds. a tenox form mom and 4 some random oxysomethings from the doc. will bneed to get another appoiubtement... and oh, have a dentist's appointment ont he 14th,too.

weigh remiains the same.. but therew was a slight NS: the bblood pressure measurement thingy worked just fine with the standard wraparound, no need for the really big one they usually use.

IOther news, eh, well, consumed about gaxillion calories cause I needed the wonderfulness of reddd meaaat so I had a huge megaburger. cause, you know, it has been MINTHs since I evebn set a foot in a fast food joingt of the burger sort... and ooh, saw mom. for she and her ex wer ein town. thus, much hanging around commenced and stuff was done. i now ghave a new shiny xcweell phone that I don't know how to use - SO much fun, that one. *sigh*

todayäs agenda is.. ah, packl everything I need - quick, guys, tell me what do I neeD so I won't forget anything! - and then.. go to sleep. well, nto immediately afterwards, but I am aiming at 8 pm my time or so - so I can get in some serious sleep before getting up at 6 am. ish.

*poibnts at icon* ciourtesy of [livejournal.com profile] navigatorsghost. Pretty, isn't he? :D


Jun. 8th, 2006 07:48 am
arabwel: (Default)
I have good news nd bad news.

Good news? I foumd my eloved snake ring.

Bad news?

I am so manic and insomniac it is in no way funny. I swear, if I conk dopwn on Friday, it is gonna e AD. it is aout the worst possile time for me to have a breakdown - and I have a AD feeling that it will e. I Can do jack ut... hope top hell and ack that it is not gonna happen, OD on sugar and caffeine, anmd ask mom to give me sleep meds for tonight. Sad,. I know, but... I NEEED the rest before Friday. *sigh*

Going to go see the nice lady with the scale today, too - wan bet it is gonna e ugly? Not becauise of my ad eating aits all week - ecause I did decent - ut ecause of the huge-ass amounts juice and meaty foods I have consumed since yesterday to make sure my lood iron doesn't conk up or I won't dehydrate?


my hair looks icky, too. think I may have roots afterall.
arabwel: (Default)
So.... I hgacve lood today. First, i had to endure the therapist for an hour.. igh, me no likey. she is annoying. namesake was SO much etter.... *le sigh* ut yeah, lived. and then went to donate blood.

so ok, when reading the thingy with allt he info on it, I went "Gah" and nearly wqlkee out.. the whole guy-on-guy sex = permanent disqualification from giving lood thing hasd me VERY pissed off.

ut I did it anyway, alas, there was some VERY itchy commentary from me in the feedack paper slip things we were given.

the whole proceedure was perfectly easy, and as it turned out, [livejournal.com profile] pnaama & [livejournal.com profile] saikk92's mother was volutntereering - which led to us cvhattering about stuff the whole time I was lying there. after the usual stuff (my condolences to Käppö... spending the summer telemarketeering must suck ;/ ) we ended up lathering aout Lordi. which was of the awesome, really. ;D ;D ;D

After that, I went shopping and thus today's d9nner is going to e steak :D and I will give soy lasagna a try later, maybe. or soy-filled cannelonithingamajiks.


I am goping to listen to some more Lordi and relax.

and plot. ecause there HAS to way to include pizza in a L/D fic.

Pimp & Life

May. 9th, 2006 07:23 pm
arabwel: (Default)

If you find something there to your liking, please bid. It is for a friend of a friend who really needs to get stuff sold. (If I could, I would bid ont he rainbow pashmina. because daaamn, it sounds pretty. *hint hint*)

In other news.. today i have domne some cleaning and shopping. ahve doggy supplies ready :D also have ltos of fruit and vegs and frozen berries... color Ara happy happy happpy, really.

saw the therapist. she was okay, just.. kinda stuck about the whole drinking thing. I sdonpt think I have a problem: I don't needf the booze. it is more like "need shiny things to do and drink and eat" sort of a thing...

Wghat else? Umm.. yah. Will go to see Dad in the cirty tomorrow. hopefully will shop a little with him, then go have a nice shiny dinner. then the day after, we fetch the dog. Whixch is ghodness :D

N0ot much else to say, really. except that I thinkk i am going to go for a walk now...
arabwel: (Default)
So. Had my glasses fizxed,a nd came to the conclusion I need new ones. Also, wwent to the store to tell about Jen being kaput. Will take her there on Friday. poor guy. his face fell SO bad when I said Jen is dead again..

After that, went to see the new therapist. She was...d ecent, I suppose,. Somewhat clueless. It is going to take a LONG time to get this thing running well again. Amsuingly enough, we both wore jeans and green long-sleeved shirts... think the next appointment in 2 weeks or so is going to be, ah, interesting.

In other news... the snow is mostly gone. there's still piles of stuff left, but.. the majkority of it is gone, gone gone... 'tis spring. and I feel all energixzed now. Like I want to do stuff... no idea what, tho. Want to write, wabnt to plot my cvisit to the UK, wanbt to.. no idea what I want to, other than stuff is boiling under my skin.

And incidentally, the paint for my new bookcase would cost more than the case did :D


Mar. 23rd, 2006 09:23 am
arabwel: (Default)
Gain. 2.4kg/5.3lbs.

See Ara being v,. v. v. depressed about this, because she is v. angry at herself.

Also, Ara is at the clubhose for the criminally insane now. And ghungry. Bleh. Not fun. especailly since the Ara has to go to the store at some point..... stupid sstupid Ara. Should have her head kicked in.

Well, fuck

Mar. 22nd, 2006 12:53 pm
arabwel: (Default)
So... today I went to see the Namesake for therapy as usual. it was nice enough..... and the last time ever, most likely,t hat I will have her as my shiny therapist.

She´'s.... not quitting. taking some time off her job to work as a project leaser for the local mental heatlh organization thingy.

caan we say "fuck"?

I will get to talk to her replacement in April. at the end of April, more specifically, after Easter. And I got a hug. the best hug I have had in ages - warm and sqquishy and long. But still - no more namesake. No more taklking to someone who actually knows what I am talking about, doesnåt mind me slipping into English, jhust... gets me.

See Ara being verrry verrry morose.

But... this led to Developements. Namely, she managed to convince me to visit the local cvlub house for the criminally insane, aka the mental health organization's headquarters. Mainly, so I could get someone to kick my ass into cleaning.

When I walked out I had agreed to... let's see, amongst toher things,t o babysitting. Sort of - one of the volunteers has 7 kids anbd when she takes the four youngest ones to swim, she needs an extra pair of weyes. Not like that is fgoing to lead to laptasticness, but should be fun. and it´¨s kids"! Youngest of the 4 is 2 year sold.... meep. and hetr animal-crazy rw'teenage daughter might eventually start visiting me to cuddle the cats and keep me company while I clean...

and did I mentiont aht I can take any excess bakingness there, so no more poor Ara being unable to bake because she will eat everything at one go?


what the fuck did I get myself into, I wonde? I will go there again tomorrow after I go see the lady with the scale... makes me geel vaguely mmm-graghle-y. thwre will b crafts. and possibly I will go there on Friday for karaoke - I figure I will be able to treat it as singing practise rather than actual karaoke.. maybe.

adn they ahve a piano. *sigh`I wish I knew how to play...

and I wonder what the fuck did I get myself into.

now.. I believe I am off to make self some breakfast.


Feb. 3rd, 2006 12:23 pm
arabwel: (Default)
Jen is still not fox3d. SAhe MIGHT be done by today afternoon, but unless I can get them to deliver (Not bloody likely, especially since I can't go to town to settle the bill) not going to get Jen until Monday earliest


other than that, saw namesake. cried., gabbled about stiuff, asked her about a lot of stuff. and finally, got myself antidepressants. So consider this a PSA '- I might be ill, naueous, angsty and anxious for the nextr 2 weeks or so...

today, iw ill mosty likely either cook curry chicken, or make pitas. Not sure yet. Hell, might make both since could do curry piutas... hell, those acvtually sound very yummy--- *pöotsd*

So yeah. cranky MSN/AIM still, and my net sucks ass. wheee.

<lj-cut text="Today it's two prayers...> this one is for today: Grant Us Your Salvation Show us your mercy, O Lord; And grant us your salvation. Clothe your ministers with righteousness; Let your people sing with joy. Give peace, O Lord, in all the world; For only in you can we live in safety. Lord, keep this nation under your care; And guide us in the way of justice and truth. Let your way be known upon earth; Your saving health among all nations. Let not the needy, O Lord, be forgotten; Nor the hope of the poor be taken away. Create in us clean hearts, O God; And sustain us by your Holy Spirit. Christian source: Book of Common Prayer 1979 ansd this is the one I did not post yesterday because I was lazy: Blessing Before a Meal We thank the Infinite for this present Substance. May each and everyone within Thy vast Kingdom be equally provided. May this food go to the strengthening of our bodies, that they may serve Thy Divine Spirit which dwells within them, in ways pleasing to Thee, Creator of all Life. New Age source: Submitted by Beliefnet member Son1Shine Not really much comments - am feeling distinctly nonspiritual today.


Jan. 18th, 2006 04:45 pm
arabwel: (Food)
Am waiting for the ground beef to defroze so I can have my yummy sphagetti... am also sitting around trying to get warm because it's frreewak-ass cold out ther eand I had to go see tyhe namesake. She had not been able to talk to the doc yet but she did scompliment my boots and we babbles d a lot about inconsequential things. Which is fof the good.

Am currently stressing out ont he tri to the #nanowrimo meet. WHy=? NBecause, dear friends, I have become a clotheshorse. I am going OMG"!Angst and thinking about bring lots of shoes and a dozen different outfits and other craptacular idiocy like that...

so yeah, shoot me now please.

Other than that... well, will dye my hair tonight methinks.


Jan. 3rd, 2006 02:21 pm
arabwel: (Tequila)
Came back from seeing the namesake. Missed her! She is so easy to talk to, so awesome, and says that I have lost weight since the last time she saw me (In September)

We talked. I manged to choke out the nightmares and stuff about my uncle. was rather painful, but.. i managed it. Which was.... surprising.

She said she will talk to my doc about the meds and what we can do to ensure I can get the permanent disability thingy next year. probably means having to go stay with nice people behuind locked doors while they prod me for a while...

well, lets just say that it WILL get me off my rocker if I won't be before.

Knowing me, I will moszt likely have a breakdown (or two or thrree) there, and also knowing me, I am VERY good at presenting things in the best possible light for mysrelf... so I supect they will declare me very,v eryt insane and unfit to work orr be a fit member of the society.


Now, it hink i will jsut sit here, read some poetry (<3 John Wilmot) and then make a small tuna-shrimp-cheese-olive pizza... or something.



Sep. 27th, 2005 01:41 am
arabwel: (Subimission)
so, the guy I was angsting about, the one I was afraid was using me? is backing off. he told me that it might be crazy but he might be getting emotional. 0_o

so, we talked. Ad inn, TALKED. favorite movies - he loves Sin CIty -music, (Franz Ferdinand - wtf? - i found out that he is younger than I expected... he is also shortt. but he is cute. and antoi-conservative. and has played D&D when he was younfer. *giggle*

Also., he works in a steady job - IT in a bank. Has a BA. *makes happy noisesd*

And he plays the bass.


In other news, Yoga was fun. Got there in less than 15 mins which made me go slightly wtf...

also, for the first time, i couldn't ddo something :( trying to do the windmill thing made me nauseous so I couldn't do it more than once *sigh*

Must Not Eat till morning - or go to the toilet. Am going to the lab exams in the morning.. so i might actyually have to go to bed at some point. Or something.

Will see the new therapist tomororow, too - he is the dude who replaced my dear darling namesake for 3 months. it shouldn't be TOO bad... but I have sugarfree red bull just in case.


Sep. 20th, 2005 06:56 am
arabwel: (Tequila)
So, i am cleaning.l Doing dishes, hauling out a month's worth of trash.. since the therapist is visiting tomorrow. THe last time I will see her till January...w hich is sucklicious.

Tried on the pants of D00m. THey again refuse to fit. Which means I have gauined... but it is no wonder. *headdesk* am hidinhg all snack food again and being Reasonable About Eating... no more pasta and other crap *sigh*

No idea why I havce let myself be so horrible about this stuf.. probably because of That Damn Guy and the stress about starting the classes.... *sigh* I suck. WHich sucks.

Ugh... wanna go to bed. But vcan't Myust clean.

So, the plan is to clean, to see the dear dtherapist, then go to bed. No classes today, Latinobic starts next week.... then, no idea. After sleep probably getting up, reading the flist, maybe cleaning some more... could really do with concrit for FotM. especially advice on how the hell to make Tony more ruthless *sigh* in the early chapters, taht is.

I shudder to think the amount of calories I have had today, none of it real food... well, almost notne anyway.... I don't know what is wrong with me. Why i have tossed the dam diet down the drain. Maybe uit's seasonal fdepression, maybe it is me being lazy bitch, maybe it is hormones... but I am losing it again. Because I have nmo fucking idea what the hell am I doing.


I need sleep.

But the therqpist will viti in.... 6 and a half hours and I want to get some of this shit ut of here beffore she comes... at least have fricking well clean mugs to have tea from. Screw the apple pie I planned on... to fucking lazy to bake (am out of butter anyeway)
arabwel: (Default)
Sooo... went to see the therapist. Was nothing too bad. gabbed a lot. Didn't cry even when talking about The Bastard. Whee.

She is going to leave for 3 months at the end of this month, Which sucks. Will see her on the 20th, but after taht it's 3 months with the new guiy. And yes, it is a guy, Am ambivalent bout that - never had a male therapist before. *shrug*

Also... my first proper LJ poll!

[Poll #564920]


Jul. 29th, 2005 12:53 pm
arabwel: (Default)
So I just had a a pizza. Oh, the calories... but oit was worth it. Oh, it was SO worth it...

and oh fucking hell I just realized that I missed my therapist's appointment, since today is Friday. *HEADDESK*

I suck.

But the pizza was good and I get the washing machine next wednesday.

Pictures should happen soonish, but... there is some slight *cough* problems with Jen... so there will be laggage *sigh*


Jul. 15th, 2005 08:33 pm
arabwel: (Default)
Guy-repliness is good. As is a therapist ewho squees over the little belt project I showed her.

Also, so is food. No idea what will have., though.

Have a requesyt & question for flist.

1. No HPB spoliers, please

2. Anyone out there who is good with teh photography? I need advice on the best ways to show off a less-than-flattering body.


Jun. 29th, 2005 07:33 am
arabwel: (Default)
Am making quiche. Got to love the stuff.... it is goood.

And also: meat rocks.

Saw Therapist, fangirlsed, gushed, spoke about wruiting and stuff.... not nbad a case. Also tool laundry to Aunty.

Went to the stote, and... splurged.

But it was alll healthy stuff, promise.

Aheven't had Cke since friday... and the only soda I've had, a cheap öoght cola type, I'ven't had much. Am doinbg my best to be healthy.

Am also sad *sigh* Because TFK tells me that they lost someone out there today. *Sigh*

can't even be happy about the fact that he didn't sound like he freaked out about the whole blob thing-.

ETA: Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. Dropped the quiche on the floor. *headdesk*


arabwel: (Default)

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