(No sign of a storm thus far....)
So okay, over at SP
there is currently a thread about people's favorite posters. It is making me feel.. somewhat giddy, because several people have listed me amongst their favorites, for various reasons. (I am apparently silly, I have a "'tude" and too smart for my own good o_o) and this kind of made me start thinking about stuff.
Now, I like to think I am not vain. But recognition of the positive kind - feedback on writing/art, someone saying the like me, someone friending me - tendds to make me extremely happy. As in, giddy-happy. And I think I reactfar more... severely than most people.
i think it is most likey because of the whole "totally unappreciated in RL" thing. I have no firends. My family sucks. I believe that the last time I touched another human being was when mom visited in July and I hugged her. (she didn't want to hug nme, she says i am too big to hug. Ah, wondrous thing for one's self esteem to have the mother say "I won't hug you because my arms won't reach around you") so... I am putting a lot of value on 'net friendshisps and net actions.
Buit why am I so giddy about recognition? I have no idea. I think it has to do with my rather great desrie to be someone - and if it means taht the "someone" is the Typo Queen, the Little Girl, the Silly One - thenso be it. It means that I matter to someone enough for them to take note.
I spent yeatrs and years and years being the not-so-little gray mouse in the corner. So now, i am really giddy about it when out of 8500+ members (so okay maybe 200 or so are active) I stand out enough to make it into someone's Top 10.
Gah. Not sure why I am rambling like this. Maybe it is the lack of sleep and the nervousness about tomorrow... or the fact taht i am about to hit 5K posts on the site and, well, that is a Good Thing.
ETA: quizzes( Read more... )